Today, I received an e-mail from one of my dear support groups. It was from another homeschool Mom, across the world. She's feeling unmotivated about her homeschool. She's tired, and still needs to plan her schedule, and order curriculum on a limited budget. Perhaps she should send her children back to school, she wonders.
Yes, it could have been written by me, that e-mail.
She said what so many of us homeschool Moms are feeling or feel at some time. We just do not like to admit it. It is nicer to flash around our "perfect homeschool Mom" image, cos it makes us look good! You know, I think we all pretend to be the gal who gets it all done: school, meals, church, home. The lady who paints with her children, gardens and still shines like a smiling queen when hubby comes home. We want to be like her. But, actually, therein lies the problem, we've been told a lie, from the Master of lies, about ourself.
The truth is we cannot homeschool at all by ourselves. And we cannot do it all. I am feeling so overwhelmed by the task of mothering 3 children, and homeschooling right now. I also have health and financial issues. I am feeling very unmotivated, and I can't even blame it on the Summer heat and vacation!
I find myself wondering some days if we're doing the right thing for our children by homeschooling. There are discipline and character issues that I feel like running away from. Child training does not often show it's fruits in a few minutes, it is going to take years before I can see what the Lord has done with my childrens' lives, working thro me, the daily grind.
I have been spending some time thinking about why the Lord called our family to homeschooling. I am taking this and next week off, to spend time with the Lord and my Bible, do some reading and write down some of the things I really hear Him saying are the things I need to focus on. I really feel a strong panicky message of, "How can I do it all" going around in my head. And I really feel Him saying that actually I cannot, and am not meant to.
If I just do what He has called me to do specifically for my family and its special needs, that is enough. I must not compare with other families/mothers, God has a plan for each family, and it is different for yours and mine.
If you're a homeschool Mom, and feel like me, and probably a thousand others, let's get back to the basics: hearing what the Lord has planned for our unique situation. And let us encourage each other in prayer, instead of striving to be perfect!